Continuing The Fight

What I've noticed about myself, is that I go through these great spurts of inspiration and determination and then go into a lull.

It's been strange for me in the last couple of weeks, my prayer life has gotten better and i'm feeling stronger. Although being consistent in prayer has been tough. So many times my thoughts wander, or things seem to want to get between me and God. In particular offence.

It's strange that the smallest things seem to offend me. I find it's easy to get yelled at by someone you don't like or care about, you can brush away their comments quite quickly, but those words spoken by those people closest to you can hurt a lot.

But even then, when those people closest to you say it in love, it can be received well. Last thursday I met with one of my friends that spoke to me about how much this year and my actions has hurt him and the frustrations that he faced with me. I felt wounded, but at the same time, I felt really cared for and loved, that he was simply expressing his feelings out of love.

I am starting to appreciate the verse 'Faithful are the wounds of a friend' Proverbs 27:6

I think my biggest struggle at the moment is trying to keep my life open. I know for myself that I am prone to run when I am criticized, but I'm starting to make the effort, starting to be determined, learning to fight well.

God please keep my heart soft, that I can hear from you and receive your love.
Amen~